Category Archives: Tech Tips

Tech Tips- Email and Connecting with People

Tech Tips- Email and Connecting with People can seem at cross purposes. After all… email is a high tech tool. Don’t let that fool you! Connecting with people is high touch.

Fast. Email is fast! Enter a few words, click to send. Whee! There goes your message.


You also get bumps, mistakes, and potential disasters along with the benefit of fast, easy delivery of your words.

Technical advice and tips often focus on the use of technology, don’t they?

That’s not going to be the case here!

This tip is about your need to look deeper with email and connecting with people.


Business is about relationships. Business is an exchange of value within the realm of some type of relationship. Relationships form through people who connect with one another.

Your ability to connect with people determines your success.


The secret of using email for connecting with people is simple. Business owners must remember that when you use this technology you don’t see your audience. You are invisible, too.

Email removes you and your audience from one another.


When you connect with a human being, you can smile, shake hands, engage in, “small talk” and see and hear responses and reactions. You can begin creating trust. Familiarity. Liking. Respect.

Those are some of what leads to trust. Connect and trust! Trust is the foundation of relationships.

Email doesn’t smile…

You Matter.

When you know you matter to someone, you pay attention to them in a different way. When you pay attention, you connect. You open a pathway to relationship.

When you make time and expend effort to connect, you’re saying, “You matter!”

Email just sits there.


In fact, when you’re connecting with someone and being clear, “you matter” you’re adding context to your communication. You’re putting your communication into the the context of openness and trust. Context opens minds and hearts.

Email has no context.


Life’s messy, isn’t it? When the whole fight or flight reaction enters our mind and body it takes over. Sometimes fear triggers that fight or flight reaction, even in a safe situation. Compassion is what gives the moment to choose to respond rather than react.

Compassionate filling in of the gaps is what gently builds time and space for each connection. When you want to connect with someone you don’t know? You need to be recognized by that person’s bodily reactions as safe.

1. Safe as in: “Okay, brain, turn off your body’s fight or flight reaction.”
2. Safe as in, “This is how safe this one unique person is to connect with.”

Here and now.

You connect in a moment of, “here and now” with a person. Connecting can help smooth the differences between people. Your high tech email gets the benefit of the doubt when there’s a connection.

In fact, connecting is how you can fill gaps of communicating. You know how words can be interpreted in a number of ways, right? When you’re connecting with people the secret ingredient you gain, your secret sauce so to speak, is gaining the benefit of the doubt.

Email “here and now” does not make the connection, but can rely on existing connection.


When you want to connect with someone you don’t know you are more gentle than you might be otherwise in that situation. When you’re gentle and on common ground there is a chance for a growing recognition of one another. That recognition melts your built-in fight or flight reaction.

Email is one way communication, there is no growing recognition taking place.


If your gentleness does not prompt some spark of recognition, that’s when trouble brews. People still have their fight or flight reaction turned on full throttle, instant access. Your body does not give space for response, just a fight or flight reaction.

Email gentleness can be missed, misunderstood, or distrusted.

Bowing, shaking hands.

Shortcuts are in place in many cultures. Bowing and shaking hands do more than show respect. They provide connection. When bows match what’s going on, when handshakes are appropriate to here and now, common ground is established.

Cultural cues give space for response rather than reaction.

Email removes cultural cues.


Fight or flight as an instant reaction can subside with cultural cues. You allow giving benefit of the doubt rather than simply fight or flight reactions. You’ll trip reaction into response with compassion, too.

Email provokes reactions you cannot see or hear.

Benefit of the doubt.

Opening a connection changes everything. Benefit of the doubt stretches that little tiny moment between reacting (fight or flight), and responding (connection). Benefit of the doubt, given out of a connection, is the secret of effective email communication.

Tech tip.

Tech Tips- Email and Connecting with People can be at cross purposes. That’s why when you’re using email and connecting with people it helps to pay attention to how technology removes you from cues you’ve come to rely upon.

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